Ben Affleck has me worried.

So I’m in the middle of A Drink Before the War by Dennis Lehane… I’ve read a few of his other Patrick Kenzie-Angela Gennaro novels, and I love them. They are some of the best pure entertainment reads I’ve had in my hands in a long time – right up there with Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons. Lehane’s style is so beautifully cinematic; the title “master of the new noir” is perfectly fitting. I can hear Kenzie’s voiceovers in my head, and they sound perfect. I am literally chomping at the bit to see this stuff on the big screen…

… but directed by Ben Affleck, I might not be so eager.

I have to be fair. I’ve never seen I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her On A Meat Hook, and Now I Have A Three-Picture Deal With Disney, but I think it’s safe to say very few people have – from the sound of it, we’re all better off that way. And since that is Affleck’s only directorial experience, pardon me for being a bit nervous when he is helming the first film from one of my favorite book series. In order for my favorites in the series (Sacred in particular) to come up on the slate, Affleck needs to not mess up Gone, Baby, Gone. Let’s take a look and see how he’s doing.

SETTING: Word is Affleck has been spotted around Rockport, MA scouting locations, and has rented a house in Cambridge to live in while he shoots. No West Coast city posing for Beantown this time around. Lehane’s descriptions are so specific and so contextual that there’s no other way to pull it off. Good move, Ben.

WRITING: Affleck is adapting the novel himself. There’s always been a lot of gossip flying around about how much of Good Will Hunting came out of Affleck, how much out of Damon, and how much was actually a collaborative effort… most speculation points to the script being largely Damon’s. I think that’s an unfortunate result of Affleck’s ridiculous social life (RE: Tom Cruise), and I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. So this’ll be neutral.

CASTING: Ooookay. Here’s where we might hit an issue.

• Affleck has cast his brother Casey Affleck as Patrick Kenzie. *cue potential train wreck* Now I’m all for nepotism. If that weren’t around, Bruce Campbell would never be in a mainstream film. But this doesn’t taste right to me. I like what I’ve seen of the younger Affleck – most notably, Ocean’s 11 and Ocean’s Twelve. But Kenzie he is not. He’s far too clean shaven, and way too boyish. From what I’ve read, Kenzie needs to be fairly rugged – attractive, but you need to be able to take him seriously. That might be where I have the biggest problem with Affleck Minor. I just can’t see myself believing him doing a lot of the stuff he’s required to do. Plus, he looks a little too much like Affleck Major. It’s unnerving.
  
• Michelle Monaghan as Angie Gennaro: OK. I guess. I could think of a number of much more inspired choices, but since Miramax is keeping Major on a fairly short leash, budget-wise, I can understand how it might fall to her. I did like her in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, because that movie rocked all the way around, so I’ll give her a chance. She’s pretty enough, I suppose, but Angie is supposed to be a fall-on-your-ass knockout. Not quite there.
  
• Ed Harris as “a cop.” There’s a number of people that could be from Lehane's previous books, but Harris lends some credibility to the cast from the get-go. Nice grab.
  
• And then there’s Bubba. Bubba Rugowski is probably the hardest person in this film to get right. Bubba is described as a MONSTER of Polish descent, with a babyface. Umm... Also, with Bubba, it's all about demeanor. Sociopath doesn't really begin to describe him. He doesn't really like talking about pleasant things. He enjoys the bad stuff in life. The only people Bubba actually likes are Angie and Patrick. My only though for a "name" for Bubba would be Michael Chiklis, but I'm not even sure he's big enough (he could definitely be mean enough, though). Other than that, a no name is the only way to go. If I see a name who is unworthy of the name Bubba, there'll be bloodshed.

So I do realize that I haven't come to any conclusion about much of anything in here, but I do feel better for putting my thoughts about it in order. Now if only I could guarantee that Affleck won't mess this up...