Matt's Movie Blog

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Review: Van Helsing
May 8, 2004; Regal Falmouth #2
* * (out of 4)

Squeezing the last drop of juice out of Universal's classic monster lineup does not a good movie make. But the world be damned if they're not gonna try. It's not bad enough to basically mock a number of classic horror movies, but Universal also chooses to rip apart the mythology that created Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolf Man. Hidden amongst this chaos is a good cast that is desperately lost and misguided, most of them handing in performances well below what anyone has come to expect from them.

Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is a "hunter of evil things" in the emplyoment of the Vatican. He is shipped off to Transylvania to find a way to kill Count Dracula before the Count can give life to thousands of his undead offspring. Along the way he'll meet the last decendant of the Count's rival family, Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale). Together they must stop Dracula from obtaining Dr. Frankenstein's key to the creation of life, but must contend with Frankenstein's Monster, Dracula's brides, and the Wolf Man before getting to the Count himself.

Maybe this is just too much for one movie. The Wolf Man barely gets touched - he becomes no more than Dracula's servant and hitman. Frankenstein's monster is at least given a personality, which is more than can be said for many other characters in the film, but his screen time is sorely limited. Dracula himself provides the biggest problem. Richard Roxburgh plays a good villain, but Count Dracula is supposed to be the king of the vampires, and there's little indication here that Dracula is anything all that special. Sure, the normal methods of dealing with vampires are ineffective against him (interesting, but it basically shreds Bram Stoker's novel to pieces), but in previous incarnations, the Count has always been something more... mystical. The idea that Dracula only turns victims who beg, plead for it automatically lends him this ultimate charisma that Roxburgh simply doesn't have. Dracula becomes just another villain trying to take over the world; he's not special or different in any of the ways that have made the Count interesting since Bela Lugosi first brought him to life in 1931. Beyond the monsters, who are the real focus of the movie... Jackman is collecting a paycheck, and Beckinsale is swamped by a bad wig and a bad accent. The leads aren't that interesting, so it's hard to root for them and even harder to believe their romance.

What's good here are some gorgeous special effects. As awful as it was plot-wise, the final fight between Dracula and Van Helsing is just too much fun to watch, gorgeously done as both characters slide from human form to computer-generated avatars. This standard of effects is maintained through the movie, starting with an appearance by Mr. Hyde, Dr. Jekyll's alter-ego. Hyde is beautifully conceived... it's a shame he's voiced as Fat Bastard's brother. Another bright spot is Carl (David Wenham), Van Helsing's friar sidekick. He exists almost entirely forcomic relief, and for once the character works. 90% of his dialogue is funny, and he drags this movie away from taking itself too seriously on more than one occasion.

It feels like writer/director Stephen Sommers bit off far more than he could chew. More than that, he tried to put a new spin on classic material, but all he did was insult the original stories and use two and a half hours of film that could have been used for something better. The three leads (Jackman, Beckinsale, and Roxburgh) seem either bored or miscast, and despite their best efforts they don't manage to hold the required interest. Van Helsing wanted to be the summer season's first blockbuster, but it missed.

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