Transformers (2007)
* (out of 4)
Y’know, there are some things that are really hard to mess up. I’m pretty sure making a movie about giant robots from outer space fighting on earth with no regard to human constructions or human life is one of them. Then Michael Bay came along. Hoooooo boy…
I’ll admit that I’ve been harsh on Michael Bay in the past. But he deserved it. And if Bay does anything well, it is blow stuff up, and this had plenty of opportunities for explosive goodness. So I set aside my previous caution of Bay, ready to watch him do what he does best. Then, you know what’s weird? He didn’t do it.
The film starts with a brief introduction of Transformer lore – their planet, why the left, who they are, etc. Afterward, we’re introduced to Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), a high school kid who’s basically pawning some of his explorer-grandfather’s stuff in order to hold up his end of a deal with his dad: get good grades, raise some money, and they’ll get him a car. After a poorly timed joke which was basically an excuse to get a Porche logo on the screen, The Witwickys end up at a used car dealer, where Sam picks out an old yellow Camaro… or does it pick him? Hmmm…
Shortly after getting it home, he uses it to pick up Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox), local hottie extraordinaire. Continuing antics from the dealership, the car starts doing some odd things on it’s own, like turning on the radio, locking and unlocking doors, fixing itself… all seemingly in attempts to get Sam laid. Now, why would his alien car care if Sam gets laid, considering it’s on a much more urgent mission? Yeah, I don’t know either.
Fast forward a bit, and after a few strange attacks against US troops in the deserts of the Middle East, the US government is attempting to uncover the source of a strange broadcast signal they think is linked to the attacks. Back with Sam, a whole fleet of robots-turned-cars has been revealed, all with nice new 2007 model designs! Even Sam’s Camaro updated to a newer model. How convenient. As explained by the leader of the robots, Optimus Prime (voiced again by Peter Cullen), this collection of robots, the Autobots (see, cause they’re cars!) is engaged in a war with another faction from their home planet, the Decepticons (see, cause they’re evil!), over control of the fate of their species. The key to this battle is something called the All Spark, which they suspect is hidden somewhere on Earth. Thanks to foolish intervention from humans, the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron, has been found and reactivated, and is calling his forces for an assault on the Autobots. This happens about an hour or so into the movie. THEN the robots start fighting.
Read the rest at HBS!
Y’know, there are some things that are really hard to mess up. I’m pretty sure making a movie about giant robots from outer space fighting on earth with no regard to human constructions or human life is one of them. Then Michael Bay came along. Hoooooo boy…
I’ll admit that I’ve been harsh on Michael Bay in the past. But he deserved it. And if Bay does anything well, it is blow stuff up, and this had plenty of opportunities for explosive goodness. So I set aside my previous caution of Bay, ready to watch him do what he does best. Then, you know what’s weird? He didn’t do it.
The film starts with a brief introduction of Transformer lore – their planet, why the left, who they are, etc. Afterward, we’re introduced to Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), a high school kid who’s basically pawning some of his explorer-grandfather’s stuff in order to hold up his end of a deal with his dad: get good grades, raise some money, and they’ll get him a car. After a poorly timed joke which was basically an excuse to get a Porche logo on the screen, The Witwickys end up at a used car dealer, where Sam picks out an old yellow Camaro… or does it pick him? Hmmm…
Shortly after getting it home, he uses it to pick up Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox), local hottie extraordinaire. Continuing antics from the dealership, the car starts doing some odd things on it’s own, like turning on the radio, locking and unlocking doors, fixing itself… all seemingly in attempts to get Sam laid. Now, why would his alien car care if Sam gets laid, considering it’s on a much more urgent mission? Yeah, I don’t know either.
Fast forward a bit, and after a few strange attacks against US troops in the deserts of the Middle East, the US government is attempting to uncover the source of a strange broadcast signal they think is linked to the attacks. Back with Sam, a whole fleet of robots-turned-cars has been revealed, all with nice new 2007 model designs! Even Sam’s Camaro updated to a newer model. How convenient. As explained by the leader of the robots, Optimus Prime (voiced again by Peter Cullen), this collection of robots, the Autobots (see, cause they’re cars!) is engaged in a war with another faction from their home planet, the Decepticons (see, cause they’re evil!), over control of the fate of their species. The key to this battle is something called the All Spark, which they suspect is hidden somewhere on Earth. Thanks to foolish intervention from humans, the leader of the Decepticons, Megatron, has been found and reactivated, and is calling his forces for an assault on the Autobots. This happens about an hour or so into the movie. THEN the robots start fighting.
Read the rest at HBS!
posted by Matt S. at
3:36 PM
1 Comments:
YESSSS!!!! I am sooo glad to find someone who agrees with me about Transformers!! Why did the whole damn thing need to be so STUPID?? I mean, "Star Wars" was for kids, but it still dealt with the story and characters in a reasonably adult way.
I felt insulted by the film.
www.therecshow.com
By
Anonymous, at 5:43 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home